im counting alone ; it's just me

5 months ;

153 days 10 hours 23 mins 18 secs

since i fell in love with you ♥

31st.

do u remember ?

Genting

my god i gotta really admit im a brave girl XD

i went to ou, buy genting ticket and sat the bus ALONE. mygod :/

too scary :)

anyway genting was okay okay la.

i cant do anything

not feeling well haih x)

oh before that i went bx and meet up with old buds :D

miss them lotslotslotslotslotssss :D :D

Fendi Hussin said :" hari ni ada jumpa beberapa orang dari kelas ni...sihat2 semua.." XD

hahaha CIKGUUU mana DOMINO PIZZA LA =P

k back to genting topic.

we all , had a long talk all night long

and I finally, realized something.

guys are the same

theyre all the same

even THEY admit they're all the same.

if u say, mine is diff .. and there's exception out there

thn im telling you. NO, fuck no way.

nobody is the exception.

all u can do is KEEP his heart , his feelings and thats all

if not? ahaha , youre done girl. goodbye and GG

get urself a pillow and cry a river xD

we talked about flirting

flirt doesnt mean that he/she likes you wan lor

its just an ENTERTAINMENT zz.

yeah to entertain u

after entertaining , forget!

the only way to prevent heart broken is to pretend u dont have one :)

so the next time u got flirty msg , just smile.. & delete :)

dont fall for it.

yeah i might flirt back, but that doesnt mean i like you right

then whats the point flirting?

scroll up and read again, entertainment lo

its a guy's hobby, girl's job is to SMILE & DELETE xD

because its just a trap for silly girls :)

yeah silly girl like me, ah screw it la hahaha

give me time and i'll act like i don have a heart woohoo. XD

yeah must act cool abit LOL :P

oh maybe, if ure real

u might say something funny like

" nah its okay ill b waiting here to heal ur heart ''

ah go dai , yeah this minute u like me

next minute? season will change so do feelings.

oh i forgot msia wont change haha okay

correction : weather will change so do feelings XD

LAME LA xD

and omg , the weather up there is (Y)

im sick already hahaha.

k i dont reli have the blogging mood now so..yah.

till then :D

Stop trying

we both know its not gonna work out

not anymore right :/

Nopeee ;

i still dont understand x

Happy 700th post , bloggie.

thanks for being there for me when i feel empty ,

bloggie !

i wont stop blogging :)

i promise ♥

:DDD

Dahlians outing :D

i feel random now :)

lol going out later with tim wk and ron

ru en and mun lok ffked us , very smart. TOO SMART. champion! :(

haha oh btw, tw is going to genting tmd LOL

i not going dy baru he come and say he's going

make me disappointed niaaaa . cheh :P

thn thn, he damn failed :D

failed to surprise me ahahah

he wanted to come to my hse but he cant find it

road 39 got so hard to find or not wor XD

nuuuuub laa xD

kk i better go get ready now :s

ciaaaaaaaaos ;D

;

sei lor, i dono what to wear hahaha :x

xx

Ello :D

im back XD

outing was :DDD

oh and guess what?

RU EN DID NOT FFK.

chua mun lok if ure reading this then im telling you

u missed the fun hahahaahah :D :P :D :P :D :P :D

we were talking bout u the whole time

oh imagine how much we miss YOU la HAHA :x

we were like " eh guess whats mun lok doing now? eating strawberry uh? "

hahaha :D

oh btw , we went sushi king and makaned :)

that veron smart ! we finish dy oni she reach. haha

sry boss , i terlalu super lapar :P

my god today is sweets day ke?

i bought cotton candy and zomg

damn hard to finish it

luckily re helped me XD

we mcm couple right ahahaha :P

and re bought sweets also

sweetness in cinema LOL XD

oh and, ish ! that boy mm sek zou wan.

should sit with re ma hahaha :x

that who lo, go ruin my sweetness plan

ish :P

we watched life as we know it.

it was okok la. but i likeeeee :DD

hou lam ah. hahahaha XD

too funny. stomach can bao zha

organs can fly out XD

yeah i think thats all. heh

ciao ciao :D

omg wait, i didnt take pic with them at all

this is so not me weih ==

blaaaaaaaaaaah :)

;

ohh yeah , i know =)

skypeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

YOW :)

skyping with helen now

hahaha damn fun XD

this girl wanna make me emo again

we're listening to emo songs now ahahaha

and our stalking + gossip

gao xiao betul LOL

LOL -_- i was playing some hyper song to make me feel better XD

[2:14:19 AM] helen :): hello

[2:14:19 AM] helen :): sad de please

[2:14:23 AM] helen :): that's too happy

[2:14:23 AM] helen :): lol

stalking part :

[2:22:46 AM] helen :):

LOL. ahlah. why u stalk people Xd

[2:22:51 AM] helen :):

XDDD

[2:22:51 AM] susan tho: home xD

[2:23:01 AM] susan tho: NEWS FEED

[2:23:04 AM] susan tho: hahaha

[2:23:07 AM] susan tho: ni yong yuan bu dong wo shang bei

[2:23:13 AM] susan tho: jiu xiang bai tian bu dong ye de hei!

[2:23:15 AM] susan tho: HMPPH!

[2:23:22 AM] helen :): YOU TYPE VERY FAST

[2:23:24 AM] helen :): HREE NOT MSN

[2:23:27 AM] helen :): I CANNOT SEE PROPERLY

[2:23:28 AM] helen :): @>@

[2:25:13 AM] susan tho: LOL

[2:25:13 AM] susan tho: sry

[2:25:14 AM] susan tho: hahaha

hahahaha. sorry boss . keyboard too good XD XD XD

omg omg ish ish i dono what to think now XD

ciao ciao laa

tatas! :D

;

ohmygod stop snsd la helen! i wanna kiu u adi x)

oh yeaah, u sure deserve better :)

Oct 26

2:21pm - 7:15pm ♥

:(

Tell me boy, dont hint me. Im too stupid to realize anythinggggg! :(

hey there :)
watched perfect wedding just now with frens agn =)
it was niceee .
every scene reminds me of you , boy :(
you you and you ! all i think about is YOU.
its been a month , and im still not over you yet.
very funny. i know.
failed la susan tho.
i used to forget quickly
love used to be nothing for me
i don nid love i don wan love
my rship wont last more than a month.

THAT.WAS.ME !

but youu , you changed me.
i dont know how you did that i dont know why
but this time i really love U with all my heart, for the very first time
i choose to believe , just because we're near to each other.
sadly, i failed..

y'kno, evrytime when i got into new rship, my frens will b like .
ohh she got new guy agn, trust me it wont last bcoz she's not serious !
she'll dump him anytime.

then now, i got so hurt , so emo because of you and they were like
"wtf man i dont get it . its so not you weih "

yeah im not myself anymore
i quit being a player and wanna b serious for once , for YOU.
and i failed my first time falling in love.
oh how great x)

but guess whatt?
i wont give up . i'll continue trusting LOVE.
this thing wont bring me down
i fell, but im gonna get back up and continue the journey
i will not stop trying .
& ill b happy :)
this is a promise i made to myself

i really hope youre reading this and realize how much i still love you
but i know u wont.. hah, joke. why on earth would u visit my blog right? :)
do u still care about me? i wonder.

you said you do. but that was weeks ago, i dont know if u still care now..
if u still do, why? why do u care? who am i to you now?
do u still have feelings for me? are we still taking a break or our rship ended officially?

tell me, are we still together? tell me we are :(

i really wanna know. but its left unsaid.

or maybe its over.. i know its over.. but i dont want it to b over

i still want you :(

you dont know how much i wanna get back to you.
imy , i really do. but i cant tell you
i miss the first day, first day we met.

August 20th.. i told you to rmb the day, because its our first day :)

and you said you will.. im really happy to hear that :)

that was a friday , after exam.

you hugged me & whispered "imy"
that day will always be rmbed.. forever..
that day was a fairytale :)

and now, im missing you like crapp.
i miss your hug your kiss your touch and your voice telling me "ily"
how i wish, i can have all that again..
如果你以为放手可以成全我的幸福，可你不知道，我最大的幸福就是能和你手牵手。






sigh helen , thank you la but dont nid to an wei me laaa
thanks for being there for me..
its 3am and ure still here listening to my !$&(!$!_&$!_%
im sorry =(

baibai

;

oh, its 4am already hais :)

;

6:20 already

signing off ,

bye :)

ilysfm

I.am.waiting.for.the

right.timing

to.do.something :)

i know you're somewhere out there

somewhere far away ; but i want you back ♥

haih i really miss you :)

Ohh haai =)

helen, if ure reading this then..

NAH, this is an update for u la dong dong XD

biiiising betul nii, i duwan update like last time liao

3 times a day zomg. that time i got life ma, can blog about anything

now my life is slp wake up eat watch tv go online.

whats there to blog about worrrrr XD

oh btw ! :D

she damn crazy, addicted to susan tho ahahah XD

we skyped from evening all the way till midnight on saturday ! crazy much? :P

and guess what? i fell asleep heheheheh

INFRONT OF WEBBY WOI. ish. helen, u think free ka?XD

and yesterday night, wk called :)

after sooooooooooo long, finally we talk agn.. as in , TALK :)

problems and problems, he update me bout his life, i update mine.

i realized we really never talk for damn long dy weih.

diff class , distant hmm..

we talk talk talk talk until 4am++

thanks bro, you woke me up and i guess i really know what to do right now

helen told me the same thing too, i think i should really do something about it. :)

love u guys la! my consultor XD F.O.C right? ehehehe :P

ohh andd! hmmm.. we went aunty's for dinner ytd (brother & I)

once we enter , all we can hear is shouting , screaming , ahhhh.

i feel damn wtf man. srsly, i damn lazy to go adi

its enough ! enough of all this ! stop arguing la god damn it ==

pissedoffweih :(

"Sigh, i pity grandpa. He's always the middle man. One is his wife, one is his son. Who to side? All he can do is remain silent, and watch them argue because he didnt want to make it worse.. he was unhappy.. i can see that from his eyes.. :( i miss his laughters, his smile and his OH-im-still-a-super hero-eventho-im-old.. Im glad i made grandpa smile again before i left :)) ♥ "

that was my status :)

brother and couz liked it.

they do feel the same way too i guess :/

im really glad i made grandpa smiled, its nice to see him smile again

i mean, mom is the one who used to talk to him alot and make him smile right.

now its our turn, our job to make grandpa happy again :)

my lame jokes always work out in the end. heh :P

gong gong i love you ! ahahaha sho random x)

muacks muacks!XD

x

hahahaha! ctc just called. zomg damn funny XD

no actually not that funny hahaha:)

ctc ; I

" yoooooooooooooooo :D "

" oi why u nvr go genting dyy? "

(wit the super bekchek voice ahahaha)

" cause lor "

" whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy lor?"

" hahaha cause ar.. cause i damn lazy lorr "

" okok "

" hahaha "

" haha"

sorrrrrry boss , i choose to FFK . hahaha =X

u guys go have fun laaaaaa :D

heh :P

bo bian lor, mister someone never go, i dowan go d XD

and dont forget , im known as FFK QUEEN. as always haha =XX

no la jk, i wont ffk if i REALLY REALLY PROMISED.

hee :D

u have to really confirm with me and make me promise to you

i will go or attend some outing or watsoever to make sure i wont ffk XD

hehhhh :P

k im done here. ciao ciao! :D

为什么你走了, 不连回忆也一起带走?

最近我一直梦到你...

梦里的你是如此的真...

闭上眼睛想的就是你...

做什么事情, 都想着以前也曾和你一起做这件事...

我最近甚至不知道是不是想你想到夜夜难眠....

我到底怎么了...?

为什么当我决定放下你的时候,

我头脑却开始不听话了???

为什么你的影子一直出现在我脑海里??

为什么连我睡觉时也不放过我??

那些曾经和你在一起的欢笑声...

那些曾经和你一起的打闹...

那些曾经和你一起的甜蜜...

那些曾经和你一起的一切一切!

它们在不断的重播...!!

告诉着我是还多么的想你...

提醒着我是如此想和你回到从前...

引诱着我想没出息的回到你身边.....

可是事实改变不了...

你已不属于我了...

我早就知道,

我早就接受......

但心里想的往往没头脑的理智...

潜意识里仍然不能把你给忘记...

在我最需要坚强的心的时候,

回忆又企图把我打倒...

那种无能为力的感觉...

被回忆困绑着的我很痛苦...

已经远走高飞的你会明白这种苦吗?

其实我也不想的...

我也希望可以好好过...

我也希望我见到你时不会再有种心痛的感觉...

我也希望我现在对你好不是因为我还爱你...

我也希望我做任何事,

脑海里不会每次都浮现出你的影子...

我也希望我可以不需要你的陪伴...

我也希望我可以真心大笑几次...

我也希望我可以开始爱上别人了...

我也希望自己可以往前走...

我也希望我现在需要的,

不是那段要用来忘记你的[时间]......

亲爱的,

为什么你走了,

不连回忆也一起带走.....

Dear Tummy, sorry for all the butterflies. Dear Pillow, sorry for all the tears. Dear Heart, sorry for all the damage. Dear Brain, you were right

i know

but still ; imysfm

♥

=)

hmm ello :D

just got homeee .

followed nic to SP just now agn. hahah

scary mary :O

then balik , online.. thn dinner at aunt's =)

reach there , got down from car

one call from adrian " susan wanna watch movie ? "

hahaha random dao

thn im like oh okay ;D

since i was , kinda down :(

thn yeaah, adrian came to fetch me after my dinner

thn we go watch REDD !

IT.WAS.FREAKKING.AWESOME! =)))

seriously hahah :D

funny chigek and NICEE. woots :D

thn after thaat , we went DE yumchaa xD

hahah

thn come home , brothers was outside

thn yeah, went out with them la (bro bro and brogf )

to AC :D

makaned , joked , laughed .

goodbye , EMO.

BLAAH ! im so done with emo man seriously .

i mean, why la emo so much when u got so much thing to enjoy ?!

STTUUUPIDD. =)

so , nowwwwwwwwwww. im going to watch my emo drama

ahaha

gonna cry my heart out agn , FOR DRAMA OKAY !

im still happy ehehehe =)

k ciao ciao !! =D

oh crap , ru en is still waiting for me :(

ahh nvm la , call her tmr. HEEE NITE NITE !

p / s ;

timing? ahh i guess its really timing.

brothers are brothers

as usual la =)

Talking to the moon ♥

At night when the stars

light up my room

I sit by myself

Talking to the Moon

hmm, i skipped school today, bad girl i know :)
wanted to go for chinese class at 130pm
but i feel kinda lazy XD
i didnt promised pn chong i'll be going though. :X

how was treasure hunt , i wonder
oh wells , i was dead tired
slept 12hours yesterday after badmintion
phew! =)
i feel healthy :D

feel like going for a jog , nid cari partner man. xD
dont wanna do it alone , i'll look like some sopoh running around ss3 LMAO .
nono, thats not gonna be me. hahah
wokaaaaaay, im back to emo jap drama LOL :D

ciao ciao! =)

p / s ;

no matter how strong my feelings are ; they dont reach you :/

bye, ♥

短暂的分离，也会无意间便成永恒

你失去了这样的一个我，会失落吗？

这样的一个我离开了，你会想我吗？

如果他真的要分手,那就让他走吧,干净利落的走,笑着让他走。

即使心里已经哭成了海,也不要去纠缠,挽留。

大方的让他走。

也许,某天,他还会想起你,还会想起你们的旧情,记起你的好。

我深信,他应该很了解我对他的感情,能够体会出,我对他付出的是真心

既然,他不肯留下,那我何必纠缠,那就放他走,给他自由。

可是,我不纠缠不等于我不想他,不等于,我没有爱过他。

我思念他的心,依然折磨我在日日夜夜。

往往别人不经意的一句话,就能让我想起他。

如果时间可以停止,我希望时间停在我们最相爱的那段日子

他不在,我的生活还要继续,一如已往,心底的伤,欲盖弥彰,

自己的伤,自己解决,自己的心情,自己整理,自己的疼痛,自己埋葬

但,不会找他

我能做的就是咬着牙自己对自己说,坚持下去。

卷缩在角落,等待着伤口平复，

我们都是凡尘男女,挣不出纠缠的情网,逃不过爱与被爱的旋涡

心碎神伤后,是漫无止境的寂寞

幸福的感觉也许只能刹那,刹那过后,是一个人的落寞

上帝让我在错误的时间遇上了你

我,哭了

它让我在正确的时间离开了你

你，会哭吗？

好想你能知道,不纠缠,不证明我不爱你,不纠缠,不证明我不想你,不纠缠,不证明我没伤

只是不纠缠,是我能够为我们曾经的爱,

能为你做的最后一件事。

imy

ohfish, i damn miss you :(

1 month + without you is seriously.. no good..

sigh

bye

p / s ;

i wonder if ur phone still have me

because i cant delete you .

i tried , so hard =/

sigh blame mms, they cant update u

" baby im gonna take with your phone next time laa don worry! :) "

now i wonder , where's our next time?

beautiful story ; left incomplete.

get a life

if you think those callings is gonna make me fall for you

then im here to tell you

youre wrong -.-

im numb and i got no feelings at all for now

go ahead , try all u can

you not gonna get anything from me

because , I WONT TRUST U .

you're here to set a trap

and expect me to fall into it?

HAHA . NAIVE MUCH? :D

gei leng zai dou mou yong laaaaaaar

if you think kao lui liu lui is so darn fun

i can tell u one thing.

go google , or facebook , or frenster search la.

go find some girl who can liu with u :DD

damn syok wan :)

我跌过，痛过，是时候爬起来了！

lesson learnt :

dont fall for someone who wont catch you.

if you're gonna catch me , im gonna fall for u

heeeeeee :)

noh ss!w !

Boy u dont know how much i miss u right now :(

stop calling me baby im not yours!!! =(

sigh, im still not used to it.

i cant call anybody else baby anymore.

im allergic to "bii" too.

evrytime i see that word somewhere , it reminds me of him

ah screw it. im so over it laaa :(

BTW, urgh . strangers in fb is darn scary.

i repeat , don ever call me baby. im not urs !!! :(

go die pls :(

btw , i went school today ==

didnt sleep for the whole night

was watching 1 litre of tears.

damn touching man zomg

i crieddd T.T

sigh i miss soong ting wei

saw him at school today

he passed the books to me. thanks :)

then pn shama sent him home

sigh, one of the reason why i go to school is bcoz of him tho

just so u know , he's leaving like REAL SOON wtf =(

man i'll miss u like crazy man.

u ass ! =(

k im back to emo jap drama.

ciaos ciaos ~

When the world says you can't, Christ will tell you that you can.

Don't worry or be anxious about tomorrow. Because,God is already there

THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON... they really do. You may not understand it at the moment, but in time it will all make sense to you!

We choose our own path. Our values and our actions, they define who we are.

I'm stronger because of my hard times, wiser because of my mistakes, happier because of my sad experiences, and smarter because of my moments of confusion.

God puts people in your life for reasons. Some to learn lessons from, others to help you along your way, & others to make you realize how strong you really are.

There comes a time when you have to choose between turning the page

and closing the book.

when life goes bad don't think God is being mean.

Just remember God has a plan for everything that happens in life :)

Life is not made to be wasted away, its made to be lived..

soo live it, drink up have fun. enjoy it while it lasts. (:

Most of the time God gives us signs to move on to the next chapter of our lives,

we just tend to ignore these signs because we are afraid.

Just keep the faith!

Why waste time wanting someone who does not want you?

Move on and let them do the same, because you will never find happiness until you let them go.

That pain you feel: that's life.

The confusion and fear: that's there to remind you that somewhere

out there is something better and that is worth fighting for.

sometimes, no matter how much you want something, you have to just give up.

It just ain't worth the hassle or heartache.

One day, they'll regret what they lost.

never regret anything, never forget a thing, never quit smiling

The harder life gets the stronger you must become.

"Never expect, never assume, never ask and never demand. Just let it be.

Because if it's meant to be, it will happen just the way you want things to be"

Things happen that we don't understand, but maybe we're not supposed to understand everything. Maybe we're just supposed to have faith and let it happen.

Not everyone is meant to stay in ur life forever...

sometimes they are only there long enough to teach u the lesson that u needed to learn

You have to take the good with the bad, smile when your sad, love what you've got and remember what you had. Things go wrong but remember life goes on!

Live for today, love for tomorrow, and laugh at all your yesterdays.

Never regret the past, always hope for the future, and cherish every moment you have.

life is too short ...smile while you still have teeth! =))

p / s ;

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams :)

God bless ♥

Dearest,

Three things in life that, once gone, never come back
1. Time
2. Words
3. Opportunity

Three things in life that can destroy a person

1. Anger
2. Pride
3. Unforgiveness

Three things in life that you should never lose

1. Hope
2. Peace
3. Honesty

Three things in life that are most valuable

1. Love
2. Family & Friends
3. Kindness

Three things in life that are never certain

1. Fortune
2. Success
3. Dreams

Three things that make a person

1. Commitment
2. Sincerity
3. Hard work

Three things that are truly constant -

Father - Son - Holy Spirit

I ask the Lord to bless you, as I pray for you today,
to guide you and protect you, as you go along your way.
God's love is always with you,
God's promises are true.
And when you give God all your cares,
you know God will see you through.

With Love always from,

Susan :)

..

Numb

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
Every step that I take is another mistake to you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
And every second I waste is more than I can take


And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP :)

i wake up to sleep , sleep to sleep .

i love sleeping , sleeping is the first thing i thought of when i wake up

im gonna stay awake till 12 , and sleep again.

oh , im lifeless =)

p / s ;

i pmed you , didnt you received it?

im waiting for a reply y'kno

im leaving tomorrow.

天堂有你更美丽！=)

安息。

你儿子是超人

他比任何人都坚强

给我你的地址，让我把爱送给你

11-10-10

废话

爱情是撒旦送来的礼物，拆开之后你的人生就陷入万劫不复，爱情是毒药的糖衣，甜美的包装下是致命的危机，爱情是残酷的游戏，当你好不容易鼓起勇气，付出真心的时候，再一次让陷入失望的绝境，真心是笑话，勇气是废话，坚持是鬼话，忠贞是梦话，幸福是屁话 !　爱情百分之99是假的 只有百分之一 是真的。 谁先付出真心 谁就输了

所以我的结论是：

去他妈的爱情。

让所谓的爱情见鬼去吧 !

im so so so lazy to blog :(

sry guys , will update when i feel like it

till then ,

xoxo

PEE AMM ARRHHH

WAHAHAHAHA :DDD

feeling great yow xD

DEAR FACE, IM SORRY FOR PIMPLES - akibat stress

DEAR EYES , IM SORRY FOR NOT SLEEPING

DEAR BED, sorry i left u alone for damn long :(

DEAR FRINGE, im sorry i clipped u up for the whole damn week :(

STATUS : NERDMODE SWITCHED OFF.

holiday? here i come! heheheheheh :)

kk i better sleep now :s

NIGHTY NIGHTS ! ♥

GEK SEI NGO AH!! :@

u better watch out.

imma blog about you after pmr ==

busy nw

ttyl

MONDAY :(

wtf , pmr is like , TOMORROW!?

im not even ready yet ! :s

x

YOWWW :)

im back from mcD :D

hahaha, after 16hours of studying (Y)

fawesomeee.. =)

wasted damn alot time la actually LOL ==

kkk i wanna sleep now.

damn tired.

CIAO CIAO :)